I moved to Portland, and I’m pretty excited because it’s just sooo easy to live the values I value here. I went to the co-op today, which is the oldest and biggest food co-op in the country. Soo yeah, it’s pretty great.
No, I’m sorry, I totally would show you around but you’re not allowed to go inside if you’re not a member. It’s just fairer that way, you know? Also, there’s no way you could possibly be eating as mindfully as us if you’re not a member and it’s just something we all have in common. It’s really a community there.
So as I was saying, I just feel like even though I still drive a car and own two $10,000 strollers for my two adorable Ethiopian babies--Injera and Salaam--who I flew over on their own personal jets when I adopted them, I’m really living sustainably this way. I mean, sure I could just go to one of the other four supermarkets in a six block radius. Sure they’re “convenient” and provide corporate "employment" opportunities. But how could I sleep at night like that? Knowing that the decision that I was making was affecting the farmers and the way that trade works and poor trade practices are perpetuated and climate change and completely expediting the melting of the arctic. Did you know there are so many natural wonders that aren’t going to be around in another 20 years?
Oh also, now I don’t mean this to sound pretentious, but you feel pretty good about yourself when you belong to the co-op too. Not like you’re better than anyone else; I would never think that. I mean, who am I to say what or who is better?! But it just, like, you know, shows that you’re making smarter, healthier, more responsible, more humane decisions than people who don’t belong to the co-op.
(Phone rings)
Oh, excuse me, I’m so sorry.
(Into phone) You did what!?!! What the f*ck you f*cking c*bagsh*tface, I’m in the middle of something!!
(Off of the phone) Anyway, what was I saying? Geez, I keep losing my train of thought these days! Ack, so silly! So I just think that belonging to the co-op shows that you’re really living... what do they say? Living with intention, you know? Like making decisions about how you live rather than just taking what comes or not thinking about the consequences of your-
(Phone vibrates) Uggg shut the f*ck up you stupid f*cking cockface!
(Back to conversation)
-consequences of your actions.
Love it.
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