PoE

Welcome to Petals of the Earth. I'll be your serving partner today in your dining experience. Can I offer you some unfiltered spring water to build up the natural bacteria in your body? Great, and would you also like some wheatgrass to cleanse your palate? Is this the first time you've been to our kitchen? Oh, well let me tell you a bit about our menu and restaurant, which are completely biodegradable by the way. Yep, both the menu and the restaurant in its entirety.

So first of all, you should know that our food comes from nearby farms and is walked or biked over to our restaurant every morning by several not-yet-documented friends. All of our food is vegan, meaning there are no meat or dairy products or other products originating from animals or using non-consensual animals in their production. We're also anti-soy because, ha, well everyone knows why. So I'll also just preempt the question about the chai lattes on our menu and let you know that the milk in our lattes has been milked from fully consensual human breasts. Mostly our milk donors are women who've recently given birth and had their babies adopted by families in Africa to give them a richer cultural upbringing than they would otherwise have in the United States.

Additionally, since you are here for the dinner crowd, please know that once the sun sets, you'll be eating your food in the dark. Your senses of touch, smell, and taste are remarkably well adapted to dealing with not having any light. Trust me, you'll see! Ha, just kidding. You won't be able to see.

All of our food is prepared raw obviously. And you'll have an option of three meals tonight. We have greens with peanuts. We have cactus with bamboo. And we have hay. All are very high in fiber and quite satisfying to the soul.

Payment is of course by the barter system only, and on a sliding scale of whatever you feel is the equivalent value of your meal. If you feel that your meal is worth one antique sewing machine, then that's what you'll pay for it. If you feel it's worth your favorite dreamcatcher, then that's what you'll pay. Most people end up feeling like the meal measures up to one of their favorites! Or if it can only possibly be quantified in positive vibes and smiles, then that works too. You know that's actually the best deal for us, because good energy expands and multiplies... for free! So that payment keeps on giving!

Oh and that reminds me, you're not allowed to bring in any external food or drink. Just simply because we won't be able to know what kind of energy it was raised with and carries, you know? I mean, it's a pretty obvious rule, but sometimes it trips people up for some reason so I like to remind everyone.

I'll be back after a few sun salutations to take your nourishment decisions.

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Oh yes, I'm religious. I go to church and stuff. I was raised that way, but I also believe it, you know. Too much fucked up stuff in this world not to believe in a god. You gotta believe in a god. Who else is gonna save you when that rapture comes? Just kidding. But really, stuff's messed up. No way that coulda just happened it on its own. Lotsa violence all around us. We gotta scary god. Really fuckin scary, that god.

I went to college. Small women's college in South Carolina. Bunch of fancy girls sown there. I never could pull of a fancy hat. Always scared I'd get stuck in an elevator door or car door or screen door, or that there would be some bird coming towards my head and I wouldn't see it because of that stupid straw hat. Birds are crazy. You got a bird? People who have birds as pets are playing with fire. You want to talk about god? Right there. If god wasn't crazy, he wouldn't have invented birds.

I don't like ochra. I don't trust it. What makes it so slimy? How is that the only vegetable that's that slimy like that? Vegetables come in food groups, or families, just like animals. They're all related. Now you tell me what food group ochra is in. Right? Can't do it. Ochra and birds, I tell you. We live in a fucked up world.

I do like pastas. Pastas with tomato and greens and cheese. Fish can mess you up, you know that? Not enough people do know that. You know about mercury poisoning? People would say it was just for people working in hat factories. And now they pretend it's not a problem anymore. But you eve met someone who eats a lot of tuna fish? I have. That tuna'll make you go crazy. Slowly so you won't know until you're all out crazy, which is the worst kind of crazy-making. Kind of like the worst slowest most invisible type of cancer of crazy-making. I don't know how they still sell that stuff. It should have a warning on it. They don't sell mercury thermomenters anymore because you're not supposed to be drinking that stuff. That's crazy they had you putting that in your mouth with just a thin piece of glass between you and that crazy juice! That's just crazy. We live in a fucked up world, I tell you.

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Do you ever just feel like sugar snap peas are god's gift to Brooklyn via his had of the farmer's market. I mean, not that I believe a god necessarily exists, but if he did. Then again, I mean, I guess if you think of nature as your god, which lets face it, it really is, right? Then sugar snap peas really are god's gift to us.

I tried that new yoga studio today. It's good but I'm just not sure my chakras are aligned and feeling it. I think there's a weird breeze that's throwing them off. Or maybe that neon light that you can see from the far right corner of the studio if you have to sit there because you get in late. I mean, who wants to do yoga in the middle of the red light district of Amsterdam because that's what it feels like, right? Know what I mean?

Aw man, bikes though, right? Amazing. I just got this new old bike that is such a sweet ride. I can feel the history in it, know what I mean? I bet it's been in Brooklyn for like 40 years ever since it was made. It's a US made one. Or maybe some old farmer owned it out in Montana and then his son rode it all the way to the East coast to become a film actor or an urban farmer or something. It's definitely got a lot of stories to tell, I just know it.

You know what I'm really into these days? Mandolins. They're just so sexy, I think, right? Like the have this twang like they're being played out of some rusty old eroding barn. But they're tough you know. Like that nerd from high school James Titter who totally now runs some kick-ass farm in upstate New York and is like biking in food to New York City public schools. Like he's kinda sweet but then super tough too. Like he could definitely be lost in the woods for a few days and would be totally fine and also reach some new level of Buddhist enlightenment because that's just what he does when he's bored.

Oh wow, the sun is totally setting already, I gotta run! I'm meeting my friend Johnster at dusk, we're gonna take pictures of that rusty car on the corner of Vanderbilt and Bergen. Love and light, guys!